http://www.davehalliwell.blogspot.com/

2011-10-15T16:09:00.003+08:00

Something random. Something in my mind.

What I find important in a relationship: friendship.

Because it's wonderful to imagine how you love somebody so much you can actually stand being his friend. Not that friends are more, or less, but a lover who is also a friend means I can come clean.

It's not just about the romantic intrigue/sparks we try to keep burning. You get what I mean?

I don't think I'm a person of values or virtues, I'm flawed.

They're useless because love is lawless and lovers are "blameless" people.

You don't get more love because you're a better person.

Who is better than who? Who decides anyway? You don't always love the one good for you.

No matter what you do he might still never love you back. So accept it. Be yourself.

There's no use breaking your heart against a word like trust, unless trust means the same thing to both people.

There's no such thing as forgive and forget.

Unless he's someone you can forget, you never (really) forgive.

And it's not hate or anger. It's just hurt, and what do you do about that?

I don't need you to stand by me when I'm right. Come bury the body with me when I do wrong.

No questions asked. Surely there are more important things than being right.

To me, the most important thing is, to be happy together.

And I found mine. The only person who makes me feel like the luckiest boy in the world.

I love you :)

2011-10-11T21:25:00.007+08:00

The Fable of the Porcupine

It was the coldest winter ever. Many animals died because of the cold.

The porcupines, realizing the situation, decided to group together to keep themselves warm. This way they covered and protected themselves; but the quills of each one wounded their closest companions. After awhile, they decided to distance themselves one from the other and they began to die, alone and frozen. So they had to make a choice: either accept the quills of their companions or disappear from the Earth. Wisely, they decided to go back to being together. They learned to live with the little wounds caused by the close relationship with their companions in order to receive the heat that came from the others. This way they were able to survive. The best relationship is not the one that brings together perfect people, but when each individual learns to live with the imperfections of others and can admire the other person's good qualities.

---------------

(!)Interruption: Oh hey today I saw a this facebook post from one of my friends and I have decided to share it on facebook and my little space here. The porcupine very cute right! And the story is meaningful :)

The moral of the story is:
Love comes with hurt. It's together in the same package.
It's just a risk that everyone has to take.

Appreciate what we already have w our special one, l o v e.

p/s: I will be back soon with my visual post la. Don't worry, a promise is a promise! :)

2011-10-09T00:20:00.002+08:00

Hi davehalliwell.blogspot.com/ I miss you.

It's been so long. Far too long, that I typed out a post.

Wanted to just let this tiny space of mine to be alone because I'm extremely L A Z Y.
But someone special complained that I can shut down my blog if I continue to let it be dead.

I feel so awkward and lost. Lost in a sense that I do not know how to structure the words in my post. Hmm I have been typing and deleting for an hour now but I still can't decide what to type. I guess I will come back with another post VERY SOON that will be filled with pictures that were taken during the previous few months. Picture speaks a thousand words right? Hehe I told you I'm lazy alrdy!

Okay so I think it's goodbye for now. I will be back v soon! (cross my heart)

Random note: If my special one happen to come by my blog again, HARROW BABY! <3 :b

2011-08-11T22:22:00.001+08:00

Words can make one seem wise.

But what's wise is proved by actions. Like what they always say, "Talk is cheap".

People wouldn't be fully convinced if it's just all talk but no action.

2011-08-10T08:56:00.005+08:00

" I'm just an ordinary boy.

Sometimes I'm lazy, I get bored, I get scared, I feel ignored, I feel happy, I get silly, I choke on my own words, I make wishes, I have dreams and I still want to believe that anything can happen in this world for an ordinary boy. ☺"

2011-07-10T15:51:00.003+08:00

Recently, my great grandmother just passed away. It got me thinking of a lot of things.

Life is so vulnerable, so unpredictable, isn't it?

We always knew that people leave with a choice. There has to be.

But I realised people can also really leave without a choice.

It's really very heartbreaking to hear "unexpected" deaths or health problems.

It's like for a moment my great grandmother was happily singing songs and enjoying her time with her friends during the day and suddenly during midnight she woke up crying and was breathless, and, gone. It was fuckin' sudden.

How are people who care about the deceased gonna handle it?

Why does it feel like death is always so cruel and painful?

After death, funeral. Traditions. We sometimes find it meaningless or ridiculous.

However, I've learned that it is to teach and remind us of things we always neglect and need to remember.

The deepest memory of this whole death thing was when my family and I were in the viewing room at the columbarium.

One word, h e a r t p a i n.

I just, hope she went to a better place.

2011-06-29T15:09:00.005+08:00

Don't you feel that it is very ironic for people to say that they want their happy ending?

It's like saying they want to experience happiness and want it to end after that.

You want that?

2011-06-22T12:43:00.003+08:00

Relationships aren't about feeling happy all the time, it's impossible, I know.

To me, I feel that relationships should make me feel happy not all day, but, everyday. ☺

formspring.me

2011-06-13T08:40:00.003+08:00

Ask me ask me!!! Been too dead here!

http://formspring.me/daveloww

2011-06-10T23:08:00.002+08:00

Different people have different definitions of love.
There are no right or wrong ones.

And I feel that in a relationship, both parties should respect one another's definitions.

What people define love as, are what they're seeking for.

So I guess it's best if you find someone who has the same definition as you.

Or you have to compromise.

Actually I feel that people are just making relationships complicated.

To me, what matters most in a relationship is that both parties are happy together.

What about you?

2011-06-06T15:03:00.003+08:00

Love really makes people do all sorts of crazy stuff.
Been there, felt it, it was terrible. But it was worth it.

It shows people care. Because it all comes down to love.

There's no need to restrict yourself at all.

Don't have to be afraid that you're an annoying bitch or afraid that your love would be sick and bored of you if you spend too much time with one another.

I don't get it when I hear from people that couples shouldn't meet everyday.

I mean like seriously? If you love one another, wouldn't you wanna see one another everyday? I understand sometimes we need a break, but it's totally wrong for people to like restrict yourself from meeting your boyfriend or girlfriend just because you're afraid that he or she would be sick and bored of you. Who are the ones who created those rules? In any case, it should be you two. Just because someone's else relationship failed due to this reason, doesn't mean yours would. Every relationship is different. How do we expect others from the outside to understand what's happening between two people?

Every couple should be honest with one another no matter what. Even if the truth hurts, or even if some things are better left unsaid, it's better to be honest rather than leaving another party hanging in suspense or hurting them more later.

When one party is unfaithful, it hurts, yes. And the truth that everyone doesn't want to say out loud is, you want him or her to love you back like the past.

But the irony is, isn't love unconditional?

2011-05-20T13:49:00.001+08:00

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.

You get it?

2011-05-18T14:33:00.002+08:00

Was looking at a few retweets and I have doubts.

"Over thinking ruins you. Ruins the situation, turn things around, makes you worry and make things worse than it actually is."
Actually I find it true but at the same time it sound like we're comforting ourselves.
What do you think?

"Follow ur heart, because if u always trust ur mind, you’ll always act on logic, and logic doesn’t always lead to happiness."
Are you sure this sentence is true?

2011-05-18T10:52:00.009+08:00

It takes a lot of work to maintain a relationship.
And sometimes, I feel that, lovin' you, is not enough.

2011-05-03T23:46:00.005+08:00

"Just because the past is painful, doesn't mean the future will be. So never let events from the past, change the events for the future."

-----

2011-04-27T01:14:00.000+08:00

I love my baby more than anything else. And I mean it.

2011-04-24T01:14:00.008+08:00

Something that has been on my mind for quite some time.
"Sometimes,
we shouldn't be disappointed or angry over someone's reply.
Cause if we put ourselves into their shoes, can we do better?"

2011-04-14T12:41:00.001+08:00

I put my trust on you. Break it and it will be gone, Forever.

2011-04-11T02:01:00.006+08:00

Hi. I'm back just to record down how was my 10th April2011.

Hmm. My whole day was mostly spent @ sentosa. (Impromptu plan)

Went sentosa with Sheila and the other guys.

It was rather not bad.

It's been so long since I've been on a beach to feel some sunlight/to get burnt.

Didn't have feel for beach volleyball but surprisingly it turned out to be better than expected.

Was so hoping to be able to play volleyball @ lamsoon but hope was dashed due to the rain.

In the end, I ended my day with baby and baby never fails to make me happy. :)

Aiyoyoyo. I've really grown fatter already lor. Especially my face!!!

FUCK MY LIFE. >:(

I need to control my diet already. I don't wanna end up like a sumo DAMNIT!

I need to stop procrastinating and go play volleyball/visit the gym/go running, MORE OFTEN.

I need to go have haircut and maybe get my hair straightened a little and maybe maybe dye my hair again.

Okayokay. I shall stop the rantings and go to sleep. Goodnighty!

2011-04-09T18:49:00.004+08:00

Oh hello. It's been very very very long since I last updated here. Did you miss me? :B

So let me see, what happened throughout the past month?

Short summary: Friends, Birthday, Carefree life and Baby.

School's gonna start soon on the 18th.

Time passes so fast right? This whole year feels so fast. 1/3 of the year has passed already.

Though I didn't accomplish anything this year so far, but I'm happy with everything in my life.

I don't ask for anything more, or anything less.

I just want it to stay this way, and I'm contented already.

Actually I'm curious how poly life is gonna be like?

It's time to really manage my time well. And of course, be responsible for everything, anything.

I'm really gonna study and get good grades. I don't wanna end up like last year again.

I'm glad that last year is over. This year is totally a new beginning.

Even if everything's not okay, I'm gonna make it okay instead of just doing nothing.

I appreciate the presence of my baby and dearest friends. Luv all of you.

Especially my baby, I'm so fortunate to have you. You never fail to bring a smile to my face when I'm with you.

Will update frequently cause I wanna record down the happenings in my life.

See you soon. :)

2011-03-03T22:03:00.001+08:00

"Everything in life is temporary. So if things are going good, enjoy it because it won't last forever. And if things are going bad, don't worry. It can't last forever either."

2011-03-01T04:13:00.003+08:00

I got to thinking about fate.

That crazy concept that we are not really responsible for the course our lives take.
That it is all predestined, written in the stars.
Maybe that explains why, if you live in the city where you can't even see the stars, your love life tends to feel a little more random.
And even if our every man/woman, every kiss, every heartache, is preorder-ed from some cosmic catalog, can we still take a wrong step and wonder off our own personal milky way?

I couldn't help but wonder, can you make a mistake.. and miss your fate?

Maybe our mistakes are what make our fate.

Without them, what will shape our lives?
Perhaps if we never veered off course, we wouldn't fall in love or have babies or be who we are.
Afterall, seasons change, so do cities.
People come into your life, and people go.

But it's comforting to know, the ones you love, are always, in your heart.

2011-02-26T03:29:00.003+08:00

I know when we talk about unconditional, we don't talk about what we expect in return.
Trying to be there for everyone that I care about when they needed someone but who will be there for me when I need someone?

It's exhausting.

2011-02-01T12:59:00.004+08:00

Today marks 1st of February and that means 2 more days to chinese new year.
I'm not gonna be like majority who kept hoping this would be a better month or year.

Cause,
Life is a learning process. We go through problems to teach us about solutions.
Life is a learning process. We go through obstacles to teach us courage.
Life is a learning process. We go through hardship to teach us about hope.
Life is a learning process. We go through heartaches to teach us about love.

Face reality.
life's like that.

2011-01-30T01:42:00.003+08:00

Hi. I'm enrolled into Millenia Institute.
But I already appealed for either Mechanical engineering(Ngeeann), Business Applications(Republic) & Business information systems(Republic).

What to do what to do. My R4 like a cui.
I scored 21.. All thanks to my geography which I got a 7th grade, while the others are 3. T-T

Regretted for slacking during my secondary 3 and 4 years.
I know there's no use to regret because there's nothing I can do to change the past.
But actually to really think about it, it was also okay cause if I didn't broke up during that time, it might be worse.

It's just who you are. I gotta accept it but I can't. So breaking up was correct.

Oh anyway did I mention that I quit my job already?
Yeah, since last month. Oh well.. what to say? I want my holiday.
Can you believe that Chinese New year is like next week? FREAKING FAST LA.
This month like just flew past me lor. Really damn fast.

Chinese New Year I also sian. Others have red packets to collect but I don't.
Cause I will be spending my chinese new year @ bangkok.
The agency I worked for better transfer my pay to me promptly or else I confirm go sue them.
Can you imagine I receive my pay when I'm @ bangkok? TOTALLY BO HUA TO WITHDRAW FROM THERE.

Aiya. Sorry for the poor command of english when I'm ranting. But I really buey tahan!
Hmm. I need to indulge in a lot of retail therapy then I will be happy! :>

---

Sorry for the abrupt ending of this post cause I don't wanna continue to rant.

I shall end the post with my favourite quote of the night from Shaikah,
"You can always feel like you're the strongest bitch on earth one night. And another night, you're such a weak-hearted person that can't stop crying."

2011-01-06T23:35:00.004+08:00

Oh hi! Didn't have the time to blog or write down new year resolutions or whatever.
It's been work work work for this 2 months.
But I guess I'm gonna quit soon. Due to a lot of reasons.

Now I've a lot of free time so I shall write it simple and short!

My new year resolution is really very simple. Actually it's the stuff I must obtain in this 2 months. HAHAHA.

1. Prada wallet.
2. Blackberry Torch.
2. Gucci sling bag.
3. Porter sling bag.
4. Doctor Martens Classic Black.
5. Fred perry polo.
6. Birkenstock new instock.

EH I NOT DEMANDING HOR. HAHAHA.
Gonna get results next monday. I'm afraid. Can even get into poly not? Can I face it myself?

2010-12-29T22:25:00.002+08:00

Today is an off sort of day for you, Pisces, and this may lead you to some irritability and even some temper tantrums if you are not careful. This off period has been set off by some issues in your romantic affairs, and at first glance, it appears as if there is little or no reason behind it. The truth is you have made a decision some time ago that you thought was the best for all parties involved, but it may be that you are regretting this decision today. Subconsciously your heart is telling you something much differently today and if you could turn back the hands of time this aura of off energy can be reversed. This is one of those situations where you can reverse the error of your ways, but the question is, do you have the courage to do so?

Zhun or not sia.
I plucked up the courage already.
New year, new change? :)

2010-12-19T01:09:00.002+08:00

I love looking at the stars. It reminds me that there's so much more out there and there's something bigger than us.

At times if you don't know where you are going, or you found yourself going in circles, maybe you're cutting too many corners.
However, any road will still get you there.
You need to put the past behind, saddest aside, and forget everything you ever felt, because what's in the past is really in the past. Cliche much but seriously, one's past would never be equals to the present or future unless YOU, YOURSELF, allow it to.

Sometimes, I wish I could go back to the time when nothing really mattered, and when happiness was natural.
Sometimes, I wish I could go back to the childhood time, when smiles didn't have to be faked.

This year made me learned to believe in myself & to be confident enough to know that I can conquer anything that I put my mind to.

I've learned that, life is hard; earning money isn't easy. But relationships are harder and it takes work.

Don’t rush into love. Don't rush into anything. Don't trust easily. Rushing is going to get yourself killed.
Because even in fairytales, the happy ending takes place on the last page.

It's the end of the year already.
Will there be any happy ending for me during the last day of this year? :)

2010-12-17T01:41:00.002+08:00

I had been enjoying my life.
I love my work though it's tiring.
Spending time with lovely friends on my of days. What more can I expect for? :)

The truth hurts, but it doesn't kill. The lie pleases, but it doesn't heal. -my motto since sec 1.

2010-12-11T23:54:00.002+08:00

You have been going through a period of reflection, Pisces, and maybe even some withdrawal when it comes to love. If there is anything unnecessary or outworn in your life, now is the time to pin point what that is and accomplish some out with the old housekeeping tasks with romance. You may have been clinging to an unhealthy romantic experience that is satisfying immediate needs and not progressing you anywhere in love. If you know the one that meets all of your needs, emotionally, intellectually, physically, and romantically, why are you letting them fall by the wayside. You don't need someone else to feel complete, but that someone else certainly does fill in a lot of blanks for you, so now may be the time to seek them out once again.

Why facebook keep telling me to seek the past?
For what? Worth it? Why should I?

2010-12-07T23:58:00.003+08:00

Hello diary,
Opps. I know I forgot to update this space again for a while.
But oh well, I was busy all along!!!

You know why? Cause I've started working.
And guess what's my first job of my life? I'm working @ topman! :)
Never in my life did I actually thought of working @ this age because I'm too lazy to do so.
But it kinda turn out to be so much better than expected! ^^

At first, to me, I kinda didn't like the job.
Cause the first few days we were helping out to set up the shop before the opening of the new outlet.

Tiring? Yes, very.
However, I realised I kinda like this job! (Y)
Made a lot of friends with my colleagues. Seen all sorts of people(customers).
Most importantly, my manager is nice to me. :)

Fyi, my topman is located @ knight's bridge. It's the new mall in between paragon and heeren.
So if you're hanging out @ town, wanna buy guy stuff, please feel free to come visit my outlet!

Anyway yesterday I attended my class chalet @ east coast.

Miss that place quite a bit y'know. Was a little nostalgic but I wasn't sad at all or emotional.
I was sitting on the beach with liping, thinking, time passes so fast yeah?
This months I had been thinking. All along love doesn't hurt.

Everyone says love hurts, but that isn't true. Loneliness hurts. Rejection hurts. Losing someone hurts. Envy hurts. Everyone gets these things confused with love, but in reality love is the only thing in this world that covers up all pain and makes someone feel wonderful again. Love is the only thing in this world that does not hurt.

Single life, single life. I'm single for 4months already I suppose.
I'm so happy that I don't have to feel that out of expressions feeling.
Feeling of insecurity. Fear of losing. So mixed up.
Why is it like everytime I try very hard to be perfect for my other partner but in the end it's all not appreciated.

In fact for now, I'm happy with my single life.
用心浇灌的真爱枯萎才明白.

I kinda found my inner peace back already.

2010-11-24T23:31:00.002+08:00


我舍不得 可是时间回不去了
至少你记忆里的我 是微笑的
亲爱的 有你牵着我的那些日子
真的好快乐
爱你很值得 只是该停了
没有我你要好好的
我舍不得 最后一次抱紧你了
我们错过的 错了就错了
不用担心我 我走了

2010-11-23T08:17:00.001+08:00

\Love is passion, obsession, and someone you can't live without./

Prom was great last night. Will upload pictures soon when Sheila's back.
TTFN.

2010-11-20T00:09:00.005+08:00

Isn't it tiring? If it's not for you, I'm tired.
Tired of constantly changing for everyone and everything around me.
I admit in the past I was afraid I wouldn't be accepted by people cause I had extreme low self esteem.
But now it's different. I'm not gonna change for anyone, I don't care what people think.

Because I am me, and I'm be gonna proud of it.

2010-11-19T20:46:00.003+08:00

All in all, I'm still okay~

Cause I've found something that I want. Wait shouldn't say found.
Cause it's been with me all along. Always around us.

Be happy not because everything's perfect.
Be happy because everything sucks but you are doing just fine.

2010-11-19T01:27:00.005+08:00

Dear diary,

I'm jealous of everyone. I mean everyone's life.
Why is it that my life seem so screwed up?
I feel so inferior, like I feel like I'm beneath everyone.
Although I'm fine, but I'm not happy.

I'm tired of pretending sometimes.
You were my happiness. And you're gone.
Happily with someone else now. You left me for him.
And though I'm not really sure, but it seems like it's same script different cast for you and him now.

I miss the way you doted me. The way you cared for me. The way you made me feel loved.
I felt like I took it for granted. I reflected and I realized, I wasn't a great boyfriend to you.
I was kinda fucked up. But you cheated, so many times. So I guess maybe it's balanced?

Sometimes, I ask myself,
"Would I wanna be back together with you if there was this slightest possibility?"
I tell myself no. Cause I would never ever get over the fact that you cheated.
Not just once. You know it best.
Wait, maybe I can get over that fact. Cause I don't know.
I'm just forgiving towards you. Feels so... unconditional.

Do you call, missing someone of everything, but still can live without that person in a little struggle, love? What is your definition for love?

Whatever I say, in the end, still, I miss you.

Though it was hard, though you are screwed up but.. I love you the way you are.
And I don't know why, why?

2010-11-18T01:42:00.001+08:00

"face it as in face it that you cant get over it.
face it that you still love him.

Not entirely true.
It's just sometimes.
Do I call it love when I can live without him though I miss him?

not really, i guess?
maybe missing someone can make you do such things.
i think love is probably something like you're willing to do anything just for him to be happy and stuffs.
and willing to wait for as long as you can, although you know there's probably not a chance for you to go back to being with him.
and willing to do stupid and embarrassing thing or even sth that will totally lose ur pride just for him?

yes for the last 2 but no for the 1st.

YEAHHH.
im unable to do that too.
but idk.

How is it possible for the 1st one

like what we all say, love really can't be defined.
perhaps, maybe all these is just those Puppy love.
and if we really love someone, we'll be able to do the first one?

Idk.
Maybe cause we're the ones always getting pampered.
That's why the 1st one is like hard for us?

har,
yeah, most probably."

2010-11-16T15:11:00.002+08:00

I've decided I should try to update this space everyday.
Figured I should record down my everyday life. It would be worth reminiscing.

So let's start!!! :)

Basically, my life for the past few months had been great and sad.
My life was just revolving around my ex during April till August.
Went through a lot of shit after that. But it's alright. I really learned my lesson.
If you haven't noticed, I'm not that type of person who will learn even if I've did the same mistake over and over again. But this time it's different. And I really mean different.

Why is love my priority when it's not reliable? No more.

Currently I just finished my olevel examinations and I guess the papers were alright.
However, I fear I would score badly for my L1R4.
And there I go wasting my future. Contradict much I know.
I should have started studying earlier. But oh well, there's no undo button right?

I don't know where I want to lead my future to.
In the earlier part of the year, I had a goal. My goal was to enter accountancy @ Ngee ann.
But now, even if I score 10 points for L1R4, I don't think I would want to enter accountancy anymore.

I feel so aimless. I want to know what I want but I don't know what I want.

For now, I guess I'm just gonna work, work and work.
I told myself that day, "From today onwards, I'm not gonna sit there and wait for something to happen. I'm gonna do something to make it happen."

Making myself happy is priority. Everything else does not matter.

2010-11-14T17:31:00.002+08:00

I don't think I'll update this space anymore. Or maybe when I'm really bored.

What about follow me @ twitter? I update there every hour.
http://twitter.com/daveloww

2010-10-10T00:51:00.000+08:00

Olevels are drawing near.

I CAN DO IT, I tell myself. :)

2010-09-20T21:55:00.006+08:00

Concentrate on this sentence.
"To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did."
When God takes something from your grasp, he's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better.
"The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you."

I know I'm not a christian. I adapted this from adelind's text.
But then the words above makes sense to me.

Karma is always around.
I will be truthful and not pretentious like many.
Even if I don't get back your love, I still love the people I love.. unconditionally.

2010-09-16T01:07:00.002+08:00

I'm right back on track. STUDY STUDY STUDY.
But then at the same time, I'm like enjoying life to the fullest. Contradicting huh.
Actually, I hadn't been really studying. Olevels are approaching in one month's time!
Okay I shall please force myself to study.

Damn heartpain nowadays for my friends.
I just don't wish to see my friends going through their problems alone now.
You know, I'm always here for you if you need me. I will try my very best.

I'm lazy and tired, but then I won't give up.
Things come and go. But it isn't that bad afterall.

Good things comes in time, they're worth waiting for.

p/s: Sorry for this short post. I don't know how to type a proper post anymore. No feeling. lol!

(Anyway did I mention I'm back to 55kg?! MAD HAPPY. Dream came true! Hehehe.)

2010-09-01T13:06:00.002+08:00

I’m not sure why my feelings for you were so strong. I’m only sure that I couldn’t deny them. Sometimes, I pretend that I told you how I felt and you said you felt the same way. The sad realization that you never will continues to break my heart. You have your own personal life now. I used to be part of it, but not anymore. It’s like a piece of paper. Tear a strip, burn it or destroy it to ashes and it can never be taped or glued back. Those words you said to me hurt every inch of my inner being. I still want to say so much to you, I miss you and what we used to be. Maybe it would hurt lesser or not at all, if I didn’t care. I really wanna be happy for you, but I don’t know how to begin with. What hurts the most, is that you weren’t supposed to hurt me, and you hurt me more than anybody else. Yeah, that fucking hurts. When someone leaves, we’re all like “Oh, we could have done more for them.” But that’s not true. We tried our best but it didn’t work. Maybe we all miss people because we still think we have a chance with them. But when it doesn’t hurt so much anymore, it becomes apparent that hope never was there. A million words and tears would not change anything and bring you back, I know because I tried and cried so hard.

If one day you happened to start missing me, remember that I didn't walk away.
You let me go. I gave in my all. It's not my loss, it's yours.

2010-09-01T12:59:00.001+08:00

If your relationship is not working - listen to your inner voice.

"If you look back at your life, at your previous relationships before they ended... and I’m talking about the relationships that didnt work out here...think back to how you were feeling and thinking when you were in that relationship – I bet you will admit that you knew (long before you actually broke up)... deep down inside yourself somewhere, that it wasnt going to work out. You had an inkling.... or gut feeling.... you just knew that the relationship wasnt right?!

A lot of people carry on in a relationship (that they know is not right for them) for a good while longer then they should... months... maybe even years... pretending they don’t feel that way... or hoping that they can make it work and fix things. But you know what... if you are feeling that way and hearing that little inner voice... that subconscious fountain of knowledge that is internally you.... telling you that the relationship is just not right... then you should listen. Its always better to get out of something thats not going to work in the long run – sooner rather then later. The longer you leave it... the harder and more difficult it becomes.

In the majority of relationships people have doubts at some point or another – so I’m not suggesting you pack up and rock out as soon as something rocks the boat a little. Relationships do need work.... thats for sure... but what I am saying is that you will know – your inner self and your subconscious intuition will undoubtly know, when you are in a relationship that is not for you and is past the point of being able to be “worked on”.

So why do people wait so long before they make the final and correct decision for themselves when it comes to ending a relationship?! Well, lets be honest here... because ending a relationship isnt as easy as saying “see ya later!” When you’re a little bit older and have been with that certain person for a number of years perhaps... You could have a lot invested in the relationship. Material things, family, kids, money issues and living arrangements are just some of the things that could make someone feel they have to stay in a relationship that is dead as a dodo. There are also emotional issues, worrying about what other people will think? Or maybe, just maybe, you are afraid of being on your own?! The truth is that a lot of people find it easier to just plod along in their “not so great” relationship, then to build up the courage to end it and give themselves the opportunity to find an “oh so great” relationship.. (which might in fact be better for both people).

Think about your relationship now. If you know... and I mean really KNOW that the relationship you are in now, is not right for you.... and just wont work in the future... Then get up the courage and do the right thing – not just for you – but for your partener as well. Holding onto them, waisting their time, is not fair either.

I’ve had clients in the clinic who have stayed together only for the sake of the kids. They knew they didnt want to be together in a relationship – they weren’t in love anymore – yet still they stayed together becuase they thought it was the right thing to do for the children. Kids are very intuitive. They know when things are not right, especially between their partents. They can feel tension in a house and that can affect them in worse ways then a seperation can. Some children, in the long run, would probably be happier if their parents just seperated and let them get on with a new way of life, then to live in a house full of tension and anxiety.

If you don’t have kids.... and you know in your gut that the relationship is not right, then why are you still together? Why bother dragging things out and making it harder in the long run? If your worried about what other people will think then you had better think long and hard about your life. This is your life. Nobody else’s. You have to do whats right for you... and if other people have an opinion on that – then so what.... let them! As far as we know – you only have one life... so make it a good one... live it the way you want – live it in a way that makes you happy. You dont want to be 92 years old and looking back at your life thinking you never did what you wanted to do – or what your little inner subconscious voice was telling you was right for you?!

At the end of the day – its your decision how happy or miserable you are in your relationship. You have the choice to keep on being miserable... or do something about it – listen to your inner voice and it will know whats right for you! Change is scary – but if its the right thing for you in the long run – and your intuition knows that – then do it now rather then in 10 years time when you will have just been dragging things out for not only yourself – but others too!

Be honest with yourself and your partner and do the right thing for both of you.

Live the life your intuition knows you should be living....

Love,

Katie Jane xx"

2010-08-06T00:37:00.007+08:00

I’m not sure why my feelings for you were so strong. I’m only sure that I couldn’t deny them. Sometimes, I pretend that I told you how I felt and you said you felt the same way. The sad realization that you never will continues to break my heart.

I know I'm in the wrong. I messed up this time for sending you that text when we broke up.
I know you're angry about that. And I wanna say,

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 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I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 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I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 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I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Can you give me a chance? I love you. And no one has never let me feel that way before. Even ww. You know you mean so much more to me although it's just 3 months compared to 3 years?
I can't live without you even though it has been a week. Can you? Why do you seem so happy with your friends? I didn't occur in your mind before? Do you hate me so much?
I want to hold you like how I used to. I want you to love and care for me like how we used to.
I want you to hug me and never let go when we're sleeping. I want your goodnight kiss everytime when we're sleeping. I want you to bring me around anywhere in Singapore everytime. I want you to bring me to watch movie every weekend. I want you to come back to our usual hangout at batok and I want hug you and never let you go. I want a lot of things but?..
I know you treat me the best. You won't hesitate to do so..
I miss you like crazy, like going mad, I'm going berserk every night. I cried and cried, but you don't know. Even if you knew, you told me to go cry myself. You don't treat me like that one..
Why are you so cruel to me now? I want to call you baby every night and I want you to say sweet things with me.. Will anyone call you baby like the same way I do?
I want to see your message everytime when my handphone lights up. It was always you.

Yes I know I'm very desperate and I seem pathetic. But I'm like that simply because, I love you..

2010-08-05T00:59:00.002+08:00

You have your own personal life now. I used to be part of it, but not anymore. It’s like a piece of paper. Tear a strip, burn it or destroy it to ashes and it can never be taped or glued back.

Those words you said to me hurt every inch of my inner being. I still want to say so much to you, I miss you and what we used to be. But it's okay. I'm fine with it now.

When someone leaves, we’re all like “Oh, we could have done more for them.” But that’s not true. We tried our best but it didn’t work.

Kbye.

2010-08-03T00:04:00.006+08:00

"You are going through another of your infamous periods of withdrawal, Pisces, and this may lend for some progress in the romance department. You do enjoy the social limelight, but today even when you are with others you may feel separate and alone. Seeing other couples may provide you with twinges of nostalgia, or senses of missing someone with a foreign connection. Sadness and disappointments are part of life, but you may be experiencing this with greater depth in this period. You may want to consider looking objectively at this relationship. This is a situation where it is not too late to change anything. Progress is possible, if you leave things in the past and make a fresh start today, you will find that someone else is just as willing to take your lead."

Why don't I feel so? I need you. I miss you.
I want to see you. I want to hug you. I want to kiss you. I want to rant every single little thing to you.
I want to pinch your cheeks.

But, do you?..

2010-08-01T14:44:00.004+08:00

In the beginning, I was playing hard to get.
In the middle, I'm still not giving you my all.
In the end, I opened my heart to you.

I'm too reliant on you. I shouldn't have placed my happiness in your hands.

"If you take your happiness, and put it in someone’s hands, sooner or later, she is going to break it. If you give your happiness to someone else, she can always take it away. Then if happiness can only come from inside of you and is the result of your love, you are responsible for your own happiness. We can never make anyone responsible for our own happiness, but when we go to the church to get married, the first thing we do is exchange rings. We put our star in each other’s hands, expecting that she is going to make you happy, and you are going to make her happy. It doesn’t matter how much you love someone, you are never going to be what that person wants you to be.

That is the mistake most of us make right from the beginning. We base our happiness on our partner and it doesn’t work that way. We make all those promises that we cannot keep, and we set ourselves up to fail."

2010-07-28T23:27:00.002+08:00

New beginning.
I'm having my prelim exams currently for this week and next week.
I would try to post more often. So I can record down events and can look back during the future.

Reading my archives made me feel so nostalgic.
***

Oh getting to reality, I've a video to share.
The song's damn nice, damn sad and damn like me in the past.

2010-06-19T22:03:00.002+08:00

Been very lazy. It's been a very long time ever since I last updated this space here.

A lot of things happened during this few months.
Didn't really elaborate on what happened throughout this whole year.
There are transformations all the time. Major ones. Small ones.
I kinda hate it y'know seriously. Come, leave, come leave.
I don't know what I want most of the time.

Life's been great. Life's been sad. Life's been tiring.
My life revolves around you, friends, volleyball and studies.
Notice, studies was mentioned the last.
And yes, I'm still not setting my priorities right.
I need to study. I'm left with just a few more months and it's the olevel examinations.
I think 24hours a day is not enough for me.

I don't want to have regrets; I don't want to go to a course I don't want to.
(or worse, go into ite?)
My dad threatened that if I cannot even go into poly, he will enlist to NS?

Been having issues with my parents. My dad esp.
Been chased out of the house, nearly killed by glass but luckily my grams saved me.
I felt fucking guilty for this. My grams love me a lot, she is the one who raised me up. She never fail to tolerate my nonsense, give in to me and she's forever nice to me no matter how bad I treat her.
I love her too.
But, I just have a fucked up attitude towards her sometimes. I don't know why. It became a habit I suppose. I don't want that. I wanna change. But I'm always not doing things which I say I will.

I have no motivation to study or as well to play volleyball.
I always say I will study but it might be a 1 day or 2 day thing and after that I start to find lots of excuses.
I'm lacking of self discipline. I hate it. I wanna do something about it. I keep saying I want to, but I'm always not doing anything.
I've developed such a lazy attitude that all I want is to enjoy myself and take as many shortcuts as possible.

And baby, I know that this 2 months had been really bad.
I know we'll pull through together no matter what. Don't give up when I did not okay.

So many mixed up feelings.
I have to juggle them well.

Update again soon. Sorry for the messy rants. I'm rusty.

2010-05-12T00:29:00.002+08:00

http://www.formspring.me/daveloww
I've just created formspring. Ask me anything. I'm more than willing to entertain you:)
http://formspring.me/daveloww

2010-04-30T23:44:00.000+08:00

想跟我吵架我沒那麼無聊
不懂得道歉我沒那麼聰明
好想要回到我們的原點 Oh ~

你又在哭泣我給不了安慰
我又在搖頭有那麼點後悔
愛情的發展已難以回頭卻無法往前走

但身不由己出現在胸口兩顆心能塞幾個問號
愛讓我們流多少眼淚

你的眼神充滿美麗帶走我的心跳
你的溫柔如此靠近帶走我的心跳
逆轉時光到一開始能不能給一秒

等著哪一天你也想起
那懸在記憶中的美好

想跟我吵架我沒那麼無聊
不懂得道歉我沒那麼聰明
好想要回到我們的原點

但身不由己出現在胸口兩顆心能塞幾個問號
愛讓我們流多少眼淚

你的眼神充滿美麗帶走我的心跳
你的溫柔如此靠近帶走我的心跳
逆轉時光到一開始能不能給一秒

等著哪一天你也想起
那懸在記憶中的美好

你的眼神充滿美麗帶走我的心跳
你的溫柔如此靠近帶走我的心跳
逆轉時光到一開始能不能給一秒

等著哪一天你也想起
那懸在記憶中的美好

2010-04-24T22:48:00.003+08:00

My blog is dead. My blog is dead. My blog is dead.

You know, I feel so restless. I feel so aimless.
I need to study. I have to tell myself to do so. I really don't want to reget and waste my time away.

I feel so weird today. I have a lot of things I wanna accomplish.

I wanna spend all my time with you, I wanna go overseas with you:), I wanna watch a lot of movies, I wanna go sentosa, I wanna go sing k, I wanna go pub and club, I wanna go star gazing, I wanna go gymming, I wanna buy a lot of things, I wanna study.

Do you know you're the one who can make me smile everyday?
I know you dote on me the most.. You're very important to me y'know?

2010-04-13T22:44:00.002+08:00

Sometimes when you feel like you're at your highest peak, but don't know why one single mistake you've done can cause everything to tumble down.
Maybe it was all mistakes in the beginning, I lied.

I only dare to say that I love 1 person in my life before.
And it was you ever since 2007.
Been through a lot, I have felt every single emotion that a human can feel, on you.
3 years till now, I can't deny I still think of you sometimes.
But, everything's the past right now.

After you, there are so many potentials to fulfill what I want, a long-term relationship.
Yes, every single one of them is great, but when everytime my feelings are starting to go deeper, I always cut myself off from them.
I've phobia. I don't wanna feel all those unwanted emotions in the past.
I hate them seriously. It killed me deeply in the past.

I don't wanna be a fool over and over again.
I'm constantly changing. I really don't like that.
I don't know what's wrong with me sometimes.

You can't even assure me,
I don't wanna give in my all to you and in the end history will repeat..

2010-03-26T23:11:00.002+08:00

If you argue with him, you're hard-headed.
If you're quiet, he don't care.
If you call him, you're too clingy crazy.
If he calls you, he says you should be happy.
If you don't love him, he'll try to win your heart. When you do love him, he leaves.
If you don't fuck him, you're a tease. If you do, you're easy.
You tell him your problems, he says you're irritating. If you don't, he says you don't trust him.
If you lecture him, you just want to argue. If he lectures you, it's because he 'cares'.
If you break a promise, he doesn't trust you anymore. If he breaks it, it's because he 'had' to.
If you cheat, he expects it to be over. If he cheats, he wants another chance.

They're basically the same.

Guys drink to forget about girls; girls drink to think back about the guy.
When guys are in love they become poor; When girls are in love they come pretty.
Guys can forget, but can't forgive; Girls can forgive but can't forget.
When guys are heartbroken, they try to forget about the girl by going out with another girl.
When girls are heartbroken, they try to find his characterisitics in another guy.
Guys wish to be her 1st love, Girls wish to be his last.

Doesn't all of the above sound true to you?

Anyway, Happy birthday Tingfong.

2010-03-14T16:47:00.006+08:00

Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday to me.
Happy birthday to you.

You disappoint me a lot. Even though you're not the only one I'm disappointed with, but you disappoint me the most.

2010-02-11T14:47:00.002+08:00

New year's gonna be here in 3 days time.
And guess what? I'm going genting. (-.-)
EWWWWWWWWWW. I want red packets lahhhhhh.
I wanna go shopping shopping shopping!

I'm sorry. After so long that I didn't blog, I don't know how to blog.
My command of english really sucks. I think I should blog more often to improve myself.

Whatever it is, I wish everyone a Happy Chinese New Year. :)

2010-01-17T13:35:00.003+08:00

(RANDOM RANTINGS)

Adapting back to school life. But I just can't sleep before 12am.
I'm so happy that I'm starting to do homework, pay attention in class no matter how tired I am.
I'm already starting revision for last year's topics and I will stay focused.
My target is to get 10 points or below for L1R4.
I wanna get into Ngee Ann's accountancy course.
I believe I can do it if I work hard for it.
I will prove to people that I'm not stupid and I don't wanna waste my time and future.

I still wished that our team didn't disband.
I regret, because I didn't train harder to meet my expectations.
It feels like I've never accomplish any goal I set for myself.
But oh well, everything's over.

I hope everything would be getting better or just stay the way it is.
I'm not greedy, I don't ask for much.
I just want my loved ones to be by my side and I'm contented.

Good times and bad times for this 2 weeks.
I will try my best to work things out and be happy even though how bad the situation is.

There are only 4 things that I look forward to:
Baby, friends, volleyball & studies.
Everything is great.

2010-01-01T17:50:00.003+08:00

I hadn't been updating much.
I guess I'm gonna change my blog into something new soon.
Happy new year by the way. I just wish to be happy and study hard to have good results.
Love everyone who made me smile the whole year, esp my friends.
So much has been gained and lost. Good things and bad things. Emotions.
Broken friendships, I wanna mend you.
Volleyball, I wanna do something about it.
Olevels, my aim is 10 points!

I'm happy as long as you're happy.

I'm lazy to type. No motivation and inspiration.
Twitter soon? :)

2009-12-24T03:59:00.010+08:00

***
Merry Christmas.
Stay happy and I appreciate everything around me.

I wish for everyone's(including myself) happiness for Christmas:)

2009-12-13T04:39:00.006+08:00

There were those days that as much you want to ignore the feeling you get when you see his smile,
you just can't.
Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice but falling in love with you I had
no control over.
If you asked me how many times you have crossed my mind, I would say once, because you
never really left.
If someone belongs to you, no matter what, eventually he will be.

Life has been happy and with laughters this few weeks.
I shan't be greedy. I don't ask for much:)

Count your blessings by thinking of those whom you love.

2009-12-09T02:46:00.011+08:00

Stupid faces. That's what friends are for!
Live our lives we want it to be.

Note to self: Focus. Work hard. Appreciate.
Don't regret.

2009-12-06T16:21:00.004+08:00

I read a story from the beginning of the year and saved it in my drafts.
I find the contents true. So here's to share.

The mastery of love, written by Don Miguel Ruiz.

There was once a man who didn’t believe in love. This was an ordinary man just like you and me, but what made this man special was his way of thinking: He thought love doesn’t exist. Of course, he had a lot of experience trying to find love, and he observed the people around him. Much of his life had been spent searching for love, only to find that love didn’t exist.

Wherever this man went, he would tell people of his thoughts and opinions on love. This man was highly intelligent, and he was very convincing. What he said was the love is just like a drug; it makes you very high, but it creates a strong need. You can become highly addicted to love, but what happens when you don’t receive your daily doses of love? Just like a drug, you need your everyday doses.

He used to say that most relationships between lovers are just like a relationship between a drug addict and the one who provides the drugs. The one who has the biggest need is like the drug addict; the one who has a little need is like the provider. The one who has the little need is the one who controls the whole relationship. You can see this dynamic so clearly because usually in every relationship there is one who loves the most and the other who doesn’t love as much. You can see the way they manipulate each other, their actions and reactions, and they are just like the provider and the drug addict.

The drug addict, the one who has the biggest need, lives in constant fear that perhaps he will not be able to get the next dosage of love, or the drug. The drug addict thinks, “What am I going to do if she leaves me?” That fear makes the drug addict very possessive. “That’s mine!” The addict becomes jealous and demanding, because the fear of not having the next dosage. The provider can control and manipulate the one who needs the drug by giving more doses, fewer doses, or no doses at all. The one who has the biggest need completely surrenders and will whatever he can to avoid being abandoned.

The man went on explaining to everyone why love doesn’t exist, and how what humans call ‘love’ is nothing but a fear relationship based on control. So many promises are made to each other: to live together forever, to love and respect each other, through the good times and the bad times but after marriage, you can see that none of these promises are kept.

What you find is a war of control to see who will manipulate whom. Who will be the provider? And who will have the addiction. You find that a few months later, the respect that they swear to have for each other is gone. You can see the resentment, the emotional poison, how they hurt each other, little by little, and it grows and grows, until they don’t know when the love stops. They stay together because they are afraid to be alone, afraid of the opinions and judgments of others, and also afraid of their judgments and opinions. But where is the love?

The man went on and on about all the reasons why he believed love doesn’t exist.

The one day this man was walking in a park, and there on a bench was a beautiful lady who was crying. When he saw her crying, felt curiosity. Sitting beside her, he asked if he could help her. He asked why she was crying. You can imagine his surprise when she told him she was crying because love doesn’t exist. “This is amazing—a woman who believes that love doesn’t exist!” Of course he wanted to know more about her.

He asked her why she felt that love doesn’t exist and she told him about her marriage and how she and her husband had both lost respect for each other. She told him about how they hurt each other, and at a certain point she discovered that she didn’t love him and that he didn’t love her either. ‘But the children need a father, and that was my excuse to stay and to do whatever I could to support him. Now the children are grown up and they have left. I no longer have any excuse to stay with him….There is no sense to look around for something that doesn’t exist. That is why I am crying.’

Understand her very well, he embraced her and said, you are right; love doesn’t exist. We look for love, we open our heart and we become vulnerable, just to find selfishness. That hurts us even if we don’t think we will be hurt. It doesn’t matter how many relationships we have; the same thing happens again and again. Why even search for love any longer?”

They were so much alike, and they became the best friends ever. It was a wonderful relationship. They respected each other, and they never put each other down. With every step they took together, they were happy. There was no envy or jealousy, there was no control, and there was no possessiveness. The relationship kept growing and growing. They loved to be together, because when they were together, they had a lot of fun. When they were not together, they missed each other.

One day when the man was out of town, he had the weirdest idea. He was thinking, ‘Hmm, maybe what I feel for her is love. But this is so different from what I have ever felt before. It’s not what the poets say it is, it’s not what religion says it is, because I am not responsible for her. I don’t take anything from her; I don’t have the need for her to take care of me; I don’t need to blame her for my difficulties or to take my dramas to her. We have the best time together; we enjoy each other. I respect the way she thinks, the way she feels. She doesn’t embarrass me; she doesn’t bother me at all. I don’t feel jealous when she’s with other people; I don’t feel envy when she is successful. Perhaps love does exist, but it’s not what everyone thinks love is.’

He could hardly wait to go back home and talk to her, to let her know about his weird idea. As soon as he started talking, she knew exactly what he was talking about. She felt the same way. They decided to become lovers and to live together, and it was amazing that things didn’t change. They still respected each other, they were still supportive of each other, and the love grew more and more.

The man’s heart was so full with all the love he felt that one night a great miracle happened. He was looking at the stars and he found the most beautiful one, and his love was so big that the star started coming down from the sky and soon that star was in his hands. Then a second miracle happened, and his soul merged with that star. He was intensely happy, and he could hardly wait to go to the woman and put that start in her hands to prove his love for her. As soon as he put the star in her hands, she felt a moment of doubt. This love was overwhelming, and in that moment, the star fell from her hands and broke in a million of little pieces.

Now there is an old man walking around the world swearing that love doesn’t exist. And there is a beautiful old woman at home waiting for a man, shedding a tear for a paradise that once she had in her hands, but for one moment of doubt, she let it go. This is the story about the man who didn’t believe in love.

Who made the mistake? Do you want to guess what went wrong? The mistake was on the man’s part in thinking he could give the woman his happiness. The star was his happiness, and his mistake was to put his happiness in her hands. Happiness never comes from outside of us. He was happy because of the love coming out of him; she was happy because of the love coming out of her. But as soon as he made her responsible for his happiness, she broke the star because she could not be responsible for his happiness.

No matter how much the woman loved him, she could never make him happy because she could never know what he had in his mind. She could never know what his expectations were, because she could not know his dreams.

If you take your happiness, and put it in someone’s hands, sooner or later, she is going to break it. If you give your happiness to someone else, she can always take it away. Then if happiness can only come from inside of you and is the result of your love, you are responsible for your own happiness. We can never make anyone responsible for our own happiness, but when we go to the church to get married, the first thing we do is exchange rings. We put our star in each other’s hands, expecting that she is going to make you happy, and you are going to make her happy. It doesn’t matter how much you love someone, you are never going to be what that person wants you to be.

That is the mistake most of us make right from the beginning. We base our happiness on our partner and it doesn’t work that way. We make all those promises that we cannot keep, and we set ourselves up to fail.

2009-12-05T23:59:00.000+08:00

I wanna improve in volleyball.
I will do everything I can to make it happen.
No more giving up halfway. I must always find a way.

Gym gym gym, train train train.
Study study study, shop shop shop.
MY PLANS FOR THE WHOLE YEAR.

To succeed...
I need to find something to hold on to, something to motivate me, something to inspire me.
You had been always my motivation although you might not care.
I wonder do you think of me when you're doing your stuffs? For me, I do.
Is it that I'm too used to it or it's not the same anymore?

I wonder what shall I do on Christmas night???
Even if it's just us both stargazing, will you be there with me?

Life suxxxxxxx lately.

2009-11-30T16:53:00.008+08:00

I had been thinking the whole night,

I feel that everyone is fucked up when it comes to relationships, marriage.
Don't you think nowadays, a lot of couples are unhappy in their marriage?
And the worst of all situations, divorce is always a choice.

Reasons for staying in a marriage or getting married:

Commitment?

It's a pity to break up because my relationship lasted for a year or so?

OR

I promised that I have to be committed so I have to.

-------

Responsibility?

We had sex before marriage and you got pregnant. I've to marry you because I've to be responsible over my actions?

OR

I've to stay in this marriage because I don't want my kids to have a broken family?

-------

People are married and the reason is because of this or that but not love.
After looking at the above examples, don't you feel that no love is involved in a lot of marriages anymore?

Husband having an affair outside because he's sick and tired of his wife or she can't satisfy him?
Bullshits isn't it?

Sex sex sex sex. Don't people get tired of it?

Sometimes, things just happen.
And you don't know why but you would just make excuses to defend for yourself.
But in actual fact, you do not have to care about what others say.
Just accept reality and own up to what you did.

Don't you think it's like a rare event or a miracle that 2 people are having feelings for one another at the same time?
Oftentimes, a lot of people just don't appreciate until they have lost it.
By then, isn't it too late?

Is marriage three parts love and seven parts forgiveness of sins?
To me, Marriage is Passion.
It never dies.

2009-11-28T12:55:00.005+08:00

I had been stoning and retyping this post.
What to do? What to do.

I had been wondering. What is my purpose of my secondary school life?
你知道我在想你吗?..
Volleyball & you, where are both of you?

I guess I'm just not good enough for both of them.
Never once good enough, no matter how hard I've tried.

There is always, no answer.
Just do the best that I can.

2009-11-22T11:25:00.001+08:00

There is only 1 question I wanna know.
What am I to you, in your heart?
---

2009-11-16T03:26:00.003+08:00

I was browsing through pictures, messages & blog posts.
And I realised, I miss a lot of people and things.

Sometimes, we don't see and understand what's wrong until you've lost it.
And by then you will regret that you didn't appreciate.

What happened to those relationship and friendships that were so strong previously?
Does anyone remember those happy moments that we had?
Where are they?

They're still in my heart.

2009-11-11T19:40:00.002+08:00

Eros is passionate, physical, lustful love—the kind that gives you butterflies in your stomach and a tingling in certain other places.

Pragma is a practical love. People who conceive of love this way are pragmatic when looking for a partner. They choose their mate based on rational decisions about whom they fit best with.

Banquet is love that expresses itself through altruism, or making sacrifices for another person.

Mania is an obsessive love that, while intimate and intense, often includes jealousy, possessiveness and a lack of communication. Maniacal love can lead to domestic violence.

Ludus is love that’s a game. A Ludic lover wants to have fun, but doesn’t necessarily want a serious relationship.

Storge is friendship-based love. A Storge lover wants a companion who shares her likes and dislikes and who can form a long relationship based on closeness, trust, security and affection.

What do I want, now?

2009-11-09T00:19:00.002+08:00

Hope is your word today -- hope for what you can't anticipate and can't control. As the saying goes, when one window closes, another one opens. In other words, just because something is ending doesn't mean something new isn't getting started. It may be right around the corner -- or it may be quite a spell down the road. Regardless, something is coming in your future and it will make you glad you took the journey to get there.

May everything in life be better. Bless everyone.

2009-10-31T22:43:00.004+08:00

Everyone's celebrating halloween tonight. Clubbing everywhere, night safari and sentosa?
It's feels so not forced-festive for the first time for me but all my plans are canceled.
Only thing missing is you and money.
What am I doing here at home all day.
This month totally sucks. Fuck yourself away.

2009-10-23T16:46:00.008+08:00

It's not easy for 2 to spark with one another and be together.
This is what I want for me & you baby.

2009-10-22T23:59:00.000+08:00

I'm not feeling very right now.
It's been tough all along. Nothing has been easy.
Do we have to sacrifice one thing for another?
And you fucker relationship breaker, I haven't got over what you did.

I don't wanna end up at square 1 again.
Start anew, afresh.
I meant what I said to you on tuesday night and I hope you meant yours too.

Although I might be having doubts with everything, but I still chose to trust you.
Cause you're the only one who keeps me going.

Tonight will the last day.

3dp.
don't play with me.

2009-10-17T14:59:00.005+08:00

Hadn't been updating for a very long time, due to the same old reason.
Feel so disconnected with everyone and everything, sometimes.
End-year examinations are finally over but there's nothing to celebrate about.

I must tell myself to base this decision on my emotions.

Lastly, I miss east coast. Anyone wanna go east coast with me?

See ya around.

2009-09-17T19:18:00.003+08:00

Hiii everyone.
I had been fine lately.
I'm not going to be updating this blog very often unless someone gets me a laptop. :p

"You can't have both, you have to sacrifice one."
How hurting was that? But I'm used to it.
Things will be better and the best, I believe.

2 different things.
See ya around :)

2009-08-30T19:38:00.003+08:00

I will update a proper post soon.
Like what I always say, be happy in everything you do everyone.
Happy birthday, my dearest Jiaqi:)

2009-08-25T16:24:00.003+08:00

Been 2 weeks since I last updated.
I don't have access at my house and I don't really bother anyway.
I don't have much time left and I'm lazy, so I guess some pictures would do the talking instead.

To me, being happy is priority and nothing else matters.
See ya around soon:)

2009-08-11T16:31:00.004+08:00

Labels or love?
Weekend was well spent with sushi teh and shopping.
I want the blue gucci lanyard, anyone wants to buy it for me? :)

School has been very slacky lately.
Majority of the lessons were free periods.
This week feels pretty fast to me somehow, though it's just Tuesday only.
By the way, I've officially moved back to BukitBatok already.
So that means I've to wake up earlier for school and travel further distances to meet friends.
But the good thing is, I get the chance to renovate my room and I'm loving it.

Sigh. Pros and cons.

It's been a while since I last played volleyball.
Going to lamsoon soon and that makes me a happy boy. Hahaha:)

I hope everything is not a lie. I'm trying to believe in it but at the same time I don't want to because I'm afraid it might not be.
I miss everything, I miss you. I'm not sure..

2009-08-07T23:58:00.007+08:00

The period of time when Ms Kom cut my fringe bangs! >.<
Sadly, I hadn't been having enough sleep for the past few days.
My gastric pains are the cause of it.
And for no reason, I skipped dinner twice during yesterday and today without knowing it.
I guess there's something wrong with me! :s

Due to the above problems, I didn't visit the gym at all!
I can't stop to procrastinate! >:(

But on a happy note, I might be going to see the fireworks for the NDP with Kelvin hippopotamus on sunday. Yayyyyyyyy!
Fireworks and stars never fail to plant a smile on my face. :)
It's been so long since I last saw one. I guess the last time was at last year's countdown.

Anyway, I'm going to decorate my room with pictures.
Anyone wants to take picture with me? :D
(Sheila grams and Kelvin hippo, I know both of you want to take neoprint with me! Hahaha.)

Next post, sensodyne toothpaste commercial. Heeee.

2009-08-04T17:43:00.004+08:00

Last weekend was fine.
I am revamping my room and I'm done with painting and buying some furniture.
I'm still wondering whether I should buy a sofa bed or not.
I want a dog again. I promise I will spend time with it and not neglect it like last year.
But I don't think my father would allow it.

Back to this week, I didn't attend school yesterday.
Had a haircut yesterday as well. Don't really like it though because it became very short.
I really have to go gym at least twice this week because I only went once last week!

I can't wait for the weekends to arrive.
Mahjong, stayover, shopping and ktv! :)

I miss star gazing. I miss watching the fireworks.

2009-07-30T02:16:00.002+08:00

Take things slowly?
I don't know what to do.
I don't want to delay it any further or else it's going to get worse.
But at the same time, I want to.

I heard a lot of things which I can't accept last time, but yes for now.
You are such a disappointment.

2009-07-27T22:58:00.011+08:00

It was my first time attending my new CCA today and I was bitching throughout all the time so it was not bad afterall? :)

I didn't visit gym at least once at all last week and I'm going to make up for it this week.
Been very shagged this few days. I guess it's due to lack of sleep.
I am having irritating ulcers in my mouth and they hurt very much!
My throat, lips and body feels so warm and dry.. I don't want to fall sick eh.

I really need to save money from today onwards.
Note to self: SELF DISCIPLINE!

I swear I will work hard to achieve my goals.
I must jumpppppppppppppppppppppppp!
---

Today's horoscope sayings,
Intimacy isn't something that comes easily to you. At least not now that you've had time to tuck a couple of years under your belt and learn how fickle some people can be. There's someone in your life at the moment, however, who seems not just sincere, but also legitimately interested in you. At this point, you can trust your own judgment and you know it.

I don't want history to repeat so I guess this time everything would be in a different way.
I am never beaten, broken not defeated.
Seriously, why don't I just walk away?

2009-07-26T02:43:00.002+08:00

Buy me something below and I will love you very much :)
I want a custom Oakley sunglasses(Radar®) and a Burberry black label Croquet Denim Wallet (3BKL-ACC-14) too!

2009-07-26T01:29:00.005+08:00

I went to sentosa today with Sheila and Jolene.
Beach volleyball and then town.

Relaxing day, I suppose? I kinda enjoyed today.
I love carefree days like this. Days when I have nothing to worry about.
Slacking,eating, talking and gossiping with Sheila at anywhere.
Nothing can be better than all of this above.

Mahjong with Danhui and Sheila tomorrow.
Hopefully volleyball before that?

Feels so good.
No worries. :)

2009-07-23T15:20:00.008+08:00

Long ago picture. At east coast chalet during CNY.

I WANNA GO SHOPPING!
I had been resting at home since yesterday.
Been down with gastric flu and a little of sore throat.
Vomited more than 5 times yesterday to the extend that I was vomiting my digestive juices.
I can't stop feeling naussey until now.
But good that I'm feeling so much better compared to yesterday.

I missed out a lot of lessons and there is a chemistry test tomorrow.
Teach me chemical calculations, will you? :(

2009-07-21T15:29:00.003+08:00

I was happy in school on friday. And you know why?
Spot something in the picture that would always make my happy! :)

Seeing anyone happy makes me happy.
Seeing you happy makes me happy.

It feels so heart warming to see people so contented with their own lifes with their loved ones.

2009-07-20T23:59:00.000+08:00

Reflection of Xiaohui my dearest&irritating girl with myself.
Weekends were fine.
It's just lacking of sleep. I'm worried.
I'm scared too actually. I think I need to be mentally prepared.

This week is gonna be busy I guess?
Projects, tests and homework everyday.
I'm figuring how to balance gym and volleyball with them!
Anyway, I watched Ice age 3 with my classmates today.
It was a very funny and cute show. Hahaha.

I have a lot of things I wanna buy!
Anyone wanna sponsor me at least a fred perry tee? :)

2009-07-20T20:39:00.003+08:00

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education:
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:
Success in your career is not the most important thing in life. You are content with what you have and think that being with someone you love is more than spending all of your precious time just working.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

True enough..

2009-07-16T22:48:00.005+08:00

"Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."

A sharp tongue can cut your own throat.
If you want your dreams to come true, you mustn't oversleep..

Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important.
The best vitamin for making friends..... B1.

The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts..
The heaviest thing you can carry is a grudge..

One thing you can give and still keep...is your word.
You lie the loudest when you lie to yourself.

If you lack the courage to start, you have already finished.
One thing you can't recycle is wasted time.

Ideas won't work unless 'you' do.
Your mind is like a parachute...it functions only when open.

The 10 commandments are not a multiple choice.
The pursuit of happiness is the chase of a lifetime!
It is never too late to become what you might have been.

Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right. Forget about the ones who don't. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it.

Friends are like balloons; once you let them go, you might not get them back. Sometimes we get so busy with our own lives and problems that we may not even notice that we've let them fly away. Sometimes we are so caught up in who's right and who's wrong that we forget what's right and wrong. Sometimes we just don't realize what real friendship means until it is too late.

---------

P/S: Weekdays had been great. Study, gym and volleyball.

2009-07-14T00:01:00.002+08:00

After so much of thinking, sorting and figuring things out, I finally managed to get some answers.

There is no reason being jealous.
And the reason is something I already knew but always neglected.
I don't have to mention anything. Figure it out and I guess you would even laugh at yourself.

No reason for being angry too.
I don't wanna be a loser for being angry just because I can't get it.

Most of the time, things will not turn out the way you want it to be.
You gotta work hard for it. Agree? :)
But there are exceptions which no matter how hard you try, you still can't achieve it.
And these are times which you don't have a choice. In life, we don't have many choices isn't it?

All I have to do now is study and volleyball.
Focus focus focus. Gym gym gym.

I would treat everyone around me better.
I will not lose my temper easily. Not worth it, don't you think?
I promise myself.

They have what I desire, but think real hard. I already have more than what I wanted.

2009-07-12T23:21:00.007+08:00

MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE
(I received this email from my aunt. Agree or not, you decide. A little funny though. :)
NICKNAMES
o If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
o If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT
o When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
o When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY
o A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
o A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS
o A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .
o The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS
o A woman has the last word in any argument.
o Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE
o A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
o A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS
o A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
o A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE
o A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
o A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP
o A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
o A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL
o Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
o Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING
o Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
o A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

---

My weekend was all about books, mathematics and food.
Sakae sushi, long john, mac delivery, macarons, ben&jerry icecream.
I really have to follow my timetable starting from tomorrow or else #@$)@$*&@#!

I'm a little worried about my back bone.
It's like I have this strange feeling at my bone whenever I think of it.
I'm a little afraid.
I didn't expect myself to have a strong believe that my dream is a premonition.
Neither do I expect myself to be kinda affected by the prophecy.

Sigh. A-maths test tomorrow and I totally forget everything about partial fractions.
Remember the promise I made myself? (at least 4 A1 on my end year exam results slip.)

WORK HARD WORK HARD WORK HARD WORK HARD WORK HARD!

Goodnight. :)

2009-07-10T13:57:00.002+08:00

Here's my new timetable below! :)

Monday: study/gym.
Tuesday: volleyball at lamsoon/gym.
Wednesday: study/gym.
Thursday: volleyball at lamsoon/gym.
Friday: study.
Saturday: sleep.
Sunday: volleyball at lamsoon.

Yes, boring indeed. But it will help me a lot.

Note to self: save $$$.
Note to self(2): Don't pin high hopes and expect too much.
Note to self(3): Focus and stop being so disgusting.

Maybe the things I hate the most are the easiest to get through.
That's why there are so many people who are doing it.

2009-07-06T22:55:00.010+08:00

It's very sad to know that no one cares.
All you think is about yourself and when you're done using me, it's goodbye.

I WILL NOT BOTHER ANYTHING ANYMORE THAT DOESN'T BOTHER.
I really mean it this time.

Selfish humans. ---

I know this sounds contradicting or sort but I'm sorry.
I'm sorry to the people I gave attitude to.
I feel like I'm taking it for granted. My family and B..
It's like no matter how I shout at them or anything, they are always tolerating my nonsense.
And to my surprise, most of the time, none of them are angry at me.
All of you never failed to give in to me when I'm at my lowest point.
All of you never failed to show care and concern for me, love me and dote me.
And I really appreciate that. But I just don't know why do I treat all of you like that sometimes.
Maybe I don't really know how to express the appreciation for all of you I think?
Somehow, it turned out to be the reverse?

I really don't know what's wrong with me.
Lots and lots of different feelings are churned up together at random times.
Half the time, I feel like I'm going crazy.

Am I really not satisfied with what I have?

What is wrong with me?
I am responsible for what is happening all over now.
I'm desperately trying to change, believing that my efforts would pay off.. but, no?

Life is so damn unfair.
I must set my priorities right.

2009-07-04T19:54:00.006+08:00

Achieved 4th position for the volleyball competition organised at Ngee Ann poly today.
Sun-burnt, skin came off, bruises on arm and leg and I can't walk properly.
When attempted, my leg hurts very very much.
I'm feeling damn shagged. I guess I will post again soon?

When people say they will be there for you, they will not.
It hurts so much more to try to tolerate or try to tell yourself that it's the opposite way.

2009-07-01T01:53:00.002+08:00

I don't know why but I'm seeing things in a whole different way.

Thinking about the past, I never regret any decisions I made.
Neither do I hate what happened throughout this 2 and half years of secondary 3 life.

I guess I was too blinded and childish in the past.
I didn't get to realise a lot of things, until now.
And that made me learn.

There were always good times and bad times.
Obviously, I missed all the good times.
Volleyball, friends, you.
I gave up all the good times because of the bad times and that was a wrong decision.

I don't hate you or anything at all.
I had to be harsh to you. Because I know it is impossible between us.
Yes, we had gone through a lot of things together.
Things like being separated and finding you back..
Moments that I cried so hard because of you. It felt like everything was crushing down on me.
But afterall, I would never forget all the times when you cared for me, doing things which surprised me and most important of all, you made me felt like I was the most fortunate guy to have you.

I know that your heart will not be with me no matter how hard I try.
This is the truth I know inside deep down my heart but I always tried to deny it.
I always tried to lie to myself that you will.
Because I believed in you and I didn't want to lose you.
But loving you doesn't mean I need to have you isn't it?

I realised how much you doted on me previously.
I feel like I took everything for granted.
I always wanted things to turn out the way I want it to be and that's childish talk.
I expected too much. You told me this before. And I can't deny it already.

I don't regret my decision.
Because you are doing so well without me. I was a burden to you all along.
I'm seeking a long term relationship and I guess I'm not your guy.
I know I have to do this because you are not the person I'm looking for although honestly, I still love you.
There is no point carrying on so much confusion and hurt.
It feels like it's wasting both of our time.
I know when I need you the most, you wouldn't be there.

So yup. Everything that happened previously is all the past.
Nobody owns anyone anything. Friends are not for you to be made use of.
I don't need people who will walk away.
I appreciate everyone in the present very very much. I really mean this sentence.

2009-06-28T23:51:00.007+08:00

Short update of my weekend.

1) I went to catch a movie with Caleb.
Disgusting movie. We left the theatres even when the movie is still screening halfway through.

2) I had a mahjong marathon for the whole night until 10 in the morning with Tonghua, Geoffrey and Gabriel.

It was fun and filled with laughters and tears.

I ate a lot of food!
Pepperlunch(salmon pepper rice), Honey chicken, Cheese tofu, Scallops chang fen, Fish ball noodles, Durian milk ice.
I drank a lot of drinks!
Soyabean, Lychee tea, Lychee tea, Oreo vanilla.
And my stomach was acting weird the whole day. -.-

And can you believe that I ordered macdonalds delivery for supper for 3 consecutive days?
I'm really going gym starting from tomorrow onwards!
I have to stop this gluttony issue!
I lost $2 by the way.

3) I took a cab down to B's house after the mahjong session.
$20! Damn expensive. But it's okay lah, it's worth it.
B keep disturbing me when I'm sleeping lah.
Finally I get to eat mee hoon kueh after 2 weeks!
Unfortunately, I was feeling a little nausey and I vomited a few.
But still, I finished it with soya bean. (?)

4) Volleyball at lamsoon was indeed fun.
I managed to spike a few nice balls and I guess it's because the net is lower than usual.
I'm always happy when there are moments like this.

School starts tomorrow.
The holidays are over already! And I didn't even complete any holiday assignment at all.
I don't know whether I can wake up on time or not.. I hope so and will try.
I don't wanna be caught for hair or anything tomorrow! Praying hard.

Going to sleep already.
Goodnight everyone.

2009-06-24T01:34:00.003+08:00

Dave(yaograndson) and Sheila(yaograms).

I have too many overdue pictures to upload.
I will upload them very soon.

Goodnight, everyone.

2009-06-22T15:53:00.003+08:00

Apparently, some scientists have claimed that love is biologically the same as eating large quantities of chocolate. If that's true, then why bother? Wouldn't it save us all an awful lot of time, energy and aggravation if we simply invested in chocolate bars and forgot about whoever has kept us up all night crying? Maybe, call him, or why not start afresh?

Hopefully posting with pictures tonight. :)

2009-06-20T21:28:00.002+08:00

The Bottom Line
Do something in haste, and you'll end up repenting at your leisure. Easy does it.

In Detail
It's not like you to change horses in the middle of the stream, but when it does happen, there's usually a good reason. In fact, if you've done it now, it's probably because you were already thinking about it for a while. Don't let anyone else's long face slow you down when it comes to your plans for the future. Stick by your decision. You made it because you knew it was best, and that hasn't changed.
---

It's been a few days and lots of things happened.

Yes, I had been thinking much for the past couple of days.
I don't know what is my decision or anything?
I don't want to make a wrong decision. I don't the whole thing to crap up on me in the end.

I dreamt of something and I don't know whether it's trying to tell me something?
I don't know. I'm very irritated.
Ahhh.. I guess I would just let nature takes it course.

Got into the quarter finals for the volleyfest competition today.
All the best tomorrow. jyjy.

2009-06-19T23:48:00.001+08:00

I can't control myself.
Tears just keep falling uncontrollably.
My heart hurts. I can't do this. This is bringing so much pain.
This was all I wanted. But I guess I want more.
I see the light at the end of the tunnel already.
It is just some stupid superiority complex thing and you are like the rest of them.
I'm a whore, bitch, bastard or whatever you can think of.
I'm too stupid. This proves that I haven't learn my mistake.
Screw myself and fuck you.

In the end, who is with me against the world?
Weifeng made me realise something.
Something that occured to me before and all collaborated.
It takes so much stuff to make it last. I guess I finally understand why all of this happened.
All because of me.

I'm shall not be affected anymore.
I'm not for you to throw your attitude anytime you want.

Don't be a dope.